I am transgender, not a doctor, why are you asking me?
I respect that people can get into situations where self medicating is the only option, I did so myself for about a year, but PLEASE do your fucking research. You can’t just wander into HRT without careful consideration and making yourself an expert on it.
You can’t just decide your dosis based on what mood you are in. Cyproterone is a potentially dangerous drug. You need blood tests, you need to understand what you are doing to your own body and brain.
Also, fix your weird unhealthy relationship. Seem like she cares more about turning you into what she wants, instead of actually helping you.
Be smart about this, or don’t do it at all.